Friday, December 15, 2017

Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn - Chapter III - 872 CE - 878 CE

BASILEIA TÔN RHŌMAIŌN

CHAPTER III

KING OF GREECE : 872 CE - 878 CE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alas, poor Eustathios. I knew thee poorly, Leon.
Making Greece a vassal kingdom was a big mistake. I see that now. Eustathios is barely kept at bay. I need to make sure he never bothers me again. But how? Simple. Leon, the bastard son of Michael and Eudokia, is my way into the house of Eutathios.

Leon is betrothed to Princess Anthousa, the daughter of Despot Eustathios. If I can destroy the Maleinos dynasty completely, I can make sure she rises to the throne of Greece and, by extension, make Leon King of Greece, bringing the title back into the Makedon dynasty. First step: Kill Eustathios. Destroying him first will help secure my power in the region.

Not great, but not bad.
I've assembled a veritable army of courtiers in Eustathios's court. It's not perfect, and I wish I had some more allies, but it should work well enough.

Speaking of, I've formed the Kingdom of Anatolia, and no, I'm not giving up that title. At least, until Basil dies. Constantine is the heir to that title, but I have plans to fix that soon enough... Just you want, Constantine.

Traitorous!
Holy crap! There are people who are against the Emperor! How unexpected?

Strategos Tiberios wishes to increase council power. Count Theophylaktos wants to institute a new kind of succession into the Empire. To both, I have only one thing to say.

 

Into the prison with both of you. Perhaps a nice stay in the Imperial Dungeon will straighten you out. If not, there are always... alternative methods.

Oh, crap.
 Yep. Some sultan or emirate or whatever has decided that the Roman Empire is far too threatening to be allowed to live. As a result, he has formed a defensive pact against me. This isn't good.

Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
On the other hand, this is excellent news. Richeut, while not politically significant, is a great steward and will seriously help out my bank account and my realm's management. Thanks, Richeut!

Oh, and I guess there was a civil war in China or something, but that got dealt with... apparently. I'm sure that'll work well for-

Oh.
Well... Crap. The good news is that these guys shouldn't prove too much of an issue for me, since they're stuck at the far east border of the map. But, should they grow to the size of, say, an empire, I could be in some deep doo-doo. 

I believe I can flyyyy!
So, recently, I set Basil on a more... educational path. He's going to build himself a flying machine. I'm certain nothing will go wrong there, I know it.

Viking idjits.
Oh. Great. Thanks, Esklid. Now, thanks to you, my plans are screwed. Ugh... Why did I let you in on this plot? Oh well. Guess I'll have to refocus my efforts. To make matters even worse, my flying machine didn't work, everybody from Armenia to Venice is joining a defensive pact against me, and several different factions have sprung up against me. My day is not going well.

Oh, great.
So, while the last five months have had basically nothing happen, I realize that one of my vassals has joined a faction against me. Being a wise Emperor, I took appropriate action and revoked his title. As you can probably see, that didn't go so well. Theodoros here thinks he's better than I am. Therefore, I've decided he's gotta go. I'm summoning a small force to get rid of him.

But, hey, at least the defensive pact against me disbanded!

GOD DANG IT EUSTATHIOS
I'm nearly done with the revolt against me, and you, Eustathios, have to go and declare war on one of our neighbors? No! Stop that! You're gonna get this empire killed! Ugh... Romans, to arms, I guess.


 Sidenote: I'm writing a book about war. I don't have much to say about it, but knowing Greek literature, it'll probably have some dumb name like The Basiliad or something.

And another one bites the dust.
In other news, the war for Antioch has ending in victory. I'm sure Eustathios will be eternally grateful the help I've given-

Huh. Well, with a title like "Despot," I can't really be too surprised.
Oh boy, Eustathios. You done goofed, and you done goofed hard. You know what we do to people like you? We throw them in the dungeon. AWAY WITH THEE!

GEE NOW WHO COULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING
Oh boy. I done goofed, and I done goofed hard. Welp, time to go to war again. Romans, to arms! Against the other Romans!

Oh hai Eustathios.
My armies are drained from both Theodoros's revolt and the wars in Cicilia and Antioch, but so is Eustathios's. I think I've got just enough troops to take on Eustathios head on. I'm diverting half of my army to his 1,500 in Greece and another half to the 2,000 in Anatolia. Hopefully my army is large enough it'll overwhelm him and force him into surrender. 

Oh, and because I have Antioch back under my control, it's been restored as one of the Episcopal Sees of the Orthodox Church. Good job, Basil.

Now historical records in this time period are limited due to me continuously missing the screenshot button it being a turbulent time in Roman history, so to sum up the war, after an initial success in northeastern Greece, my army was pushed back to Constantinople after Eustathios moved his army northwest through Anatolia following my successful attempt to knock out the Greece fortifications in Adana and Tarsos. My armies coalesced back in Constantinople and, after knocking out a counter attack in Adrianopolis, we chased Eustathios east all the way back to Adana and Tarsos, where a series of rather ridiculously pitiful sieges ended in the Byzantines securing complete control of the region. Finally, Eustathios surrendered and was placed in prison.

Snip snip!
A few title revocations, a "strategic" castration, and one banishment later and now Eustathios will no longer be a threat to me. Ever. That just leaves us with his son and daughter, who I have my own plans for. 

Heh. Heh heh. Ha ha ha!

MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-cough hack wheeze

Oh, and in other news, I have two new sons named Daniel and Nikephoros, Nikephoros, Richeut and Anastasia have what I believe to be measles, the old Ecumenical Patriarch died, and I think the Earth might be round or something. It's all a lot to take in.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn - Chapter II - 870 CE - 872 CE

BASILEIA TÔN RHŌMAIŌN

CHAPTER II

NIKEPHOROS IN THE HOUSE: 870 CE - 872 CE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Puts on anime narrator face.

LAST TIME on Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn, Emperor Basil knocked out the Aghlabids from Roman Sicily, only to find somebody had knocked up his wife Eudokia. Meanwhile, an assassination plot against the Emperor ended in failure as Strategos Ioannes rescued Basil from near certain death. Now, as the specter of smallpox looms over the southeastern corner of the Empire, can Basil the Macedonian finally secure his holdings over the Empire and deal with the corruption within it? Find out today on Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn Z Kai!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At least she'll be safe from the pox!
 At this point, I am one hundred and ten percent done with Eudokia. She's cheated on me _twice_ with two different men, with both rendezvouses ending in pregnancies. She's gotta go. As such, I'm doing three things.

1). I'm getting a divorce. It's not you, Eudokia. It's everybody you've been screwing except for me.

2). I'm requesting an excommunication from the Ecumenical Patriarch, Loukas. Eudokia has not exactly shown upstanding Christian values.

3). As the above screenshot shows, I'm throwing her apparently-attractive-enough-to-risk-pissing-off-the-Emperor butt in prison, where she can think long and hard about what she's done.

You may think, hey, isn't this a bit excessive? To which I say, it's 870 CE, she's lucky I'm not ordering her beheaded.

Which I'm not.

Yet.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms

 While some angry Sultanate or something decides to invade my lands, I've noticed now that I've got a lot of titles under my belt and I just don't have the time to manage all of them. I need some delegation. Thankfully, my empire currently three possible kingdoms inside of it. All I've got to do is form those kingdoms, make them vassal states and easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, I've got a lot less work. I'll form the kingdom of Greece first, then Anatolia before finally forming Trebizond. For those wondering, Greece is the dark purple, Anatolia is light purple and Trebizond is that tiny green place up in the northeast. 

Look at it. It's so cute.

For those wondering, I'm giving the Kingdom of Greece to Strategos Nikephoros, the guy who led the defense of Constantinople over the last three years. He'll prove a capable leader, I'm certain. I've given him a place on my council as well, and I've placed a man named Tryphon as my new marshal. Hopefully nothing goes wrong. Nikephoros is a powerful vassal and I don't wish to anger him. I'm considering marrying into his family so I can have some family ties. His granddaughter seems like a good choice, though I may wish to have her betrothed to my son, Leon.


Occupation: Viking
One misclick political arrangement later and I suddenly have a lot of very happy Vikings loyal only to me for the low, low price of a crapload of money and some of my prestige. They'll serve as my personal guard and as shock troops for my empire.


Not pictured: Varangian guards.
If nothing else, I should now have a nice line of defense against uppity counts wanting to assassinate me.
This summer, Jackie Chan is: The Prince's Teacher. Rated PG-13.

Hey, a traveling scholar has come to town to give my kid some thoughts in that brain of his. For a low price of 81 gold, I was able to squeeze some extra brainpower out of the kid. Not bad, though I really need to get my income up higher if I want to keep making big purchases like this. I decide to put forward legislation to my council that promises to make the nobles pay more in taxes in exchange for providing fewer levies. With an army as big as mine, I can afford to lose a few soldiers.

I say this, knowing that as soon as I do, I'll start getting invaded by every single grumpy sultanate, caliphate and kingdom within arm's reach. God forbid some Mongols or something show up.

GEE WHO COULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING
THANKS NIKEPHOROS. I MAKE YOU DESPOT OF GREECE, AND THIS IS THE THANKS YOU GIVE ME.

For those who can't tell, Greece, my vassal, has declared war on a neighboring country. Technically, I could just ignore this, but I know if I don't nip this in the bud now, I'm getting screwed later on. So... Uh... Romans, to arms?


I love the smell of Greek fire in the morning!
The plan as of now is to start in the western part of the Barnunid Emirate, the county of Tarsos, and move my way east to Iskandarun. Hopefully, I can do it without losing, like, all my army.


R.I.P. Nikephoros.
Despot Nikephoros is dead. Long live Despot Eustathios.


Romans - 2. Various Islamic states - 0.
Despite the death of Nikephoros and his son's rather cold disposition towards me, we still managed to eke out a victory against the Emirate. Doliche and Adana were ceded in full to the Empire, while all but one city in Tarsos was brought under Roman rule. I gave control of Thrake to my son, Constantine, and I gave control of Adana to Eustathios to help pacify him. I also gave Loukas, the Patriarch, control of the various Bishoprics around the region, because I'm a pious guy.

Oh, and Eudokia died in prison. Good riddance.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With the Barnunid Emirate pacified and the Kingdom of Greece under total Roman control, Basil I is well on his way to finally stabilizing the region. But with increased pressure from his nobles getting in the way of real reform, and a series of devastating wars with neighboring countries angering his vassals, can the Emperor successfully navigate the twists and turns of political life and finally secure his position on the Imperial throne? What new challenges await Basil as he passes his five year anniversary? Find out next time on Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn Z Kai!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn - Chapter I - 867 CE - 870 CE

BASILEIA TÔN RHŌMAIŌN

CHAPTER I

THE SICILIAN JOB : 867 CE - 870 CE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last time on Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn, Basil I overthrew Michael III in 867 CE, becoming the Basileus (or Emperor) of the Byzantine Empire.

Okay, technically it's the Roman Empire, because the Byzantines always considered themselves as Romans, but since the Roman Empire is already a thing in CK2, it makes sense for the Byzantines to be called Byzantines for gameplay reasons. Speaking of history accuracy, you'll notice the Byzantine flag is different in the following screenshots than it is in vanilla CK2. That's because my buddy Iaredios kindly sent me a link to a replacement flag that's a bit more historically accurate. Thanks, Iaredios.

 
Left: The new flag provided by Iaredios. Right: The vanilla flag from CK2.

Speaking of screenshots, let's check out how the Empire's doing so far and OH CRAP THEY'RE INVADING SICILY.
Shown: Muslim empire yelling at me to "GET OFF THEIR LAWN."

The Aghlabid Sultanate wants me to hand over the Theme of Sicily, or in other words, they want the whole dang island. Considering that Sicily is traditional Roman territory, I am displeased by this. As such, Romans, to arms!

DEUS VULT!

Now that's more like it. 10,000 soldiers ready to attack the Aghlabids on my command. The plan is for them all to congregate at Brendesion, the heel of the boot of Italy, before marching on Sicily and kicking their royal (imperial?) behinds. 

Also, for those wondering, I've set my ambition to Groom an Heir (I've already got a kid... sorta... Thanks, Michael.) I've set my focus to War, and I've decided to put forward word that I need a court physician. Let's see how this counterstrike against the Aghlabids goes from now on.

Hey, a court physicSWEET JESUS MY ARMY

So, good news, bad news. As you can see in the above screenshot, I've become able to recruit a court physician! Bad news: right next to the dialog box is my army in Sicily getting pounced on. This is a bad thing, if you couldn't tell. I'm gonna need to push harder into Sicily than I had initially hoped.

"Turn around, bright eyes..."

Good news, great news, and absolutely terrible news. The good news is that I've got most of my army over to Italy. The great news is that Georgia has asked to join the war against the Aghlabids. The absolute terrible, no good, very bad news is that (while you can't see it) there are Aghlabids in Constantinople. That's bad. I've got to turn, like 3,500 soldiers back the way they came under the command of Strategos Nikephoros so Constantinople doesn't collapse. Already, this is not going well. Still, I'm ready to march on Sicily.

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!

Alright, I've got soldiers in Sicily and they're laying siege to the province of Messina before moving on to Syrakousa. Also, something that happened literally just after I took this screenshot was that the soldiers threatening Constantinople got their butts handed to them by Nikephoros. I like this guy.

Huh... This tastes funny.

Well, I've managed to knock out two holdings in Messina, but a council meeting seems to go a wee bit awry and it appears that I'm being assassinated. Seriously, guys? I've barely been Emperor for a year and I'm getting assassinated already? Jerks. The good news is that Strategos Ioannes has heard my cries of help. I wake up the next morning with a splitting headache, but the good news is that I'm not dead.

Oh, and Hungary is now a thing. Good job, Hungary.

Not much happens over the next couple of months. After liberating Syrakousa and putting down an Aghlabid army in Constantinople... again... I get word that my wife is pregnant (I didn't screenshot this because I'm a lazy bum who only screenshots the important stuff.) The problem is that I was supposed to be away when this happened, so... uh... Oops! I've hired some spies to help me out. I have a sneaking suspicious that my wife is lying to me. I've also managed to besiege Balharm.

Oh... This is bad...

It's official. Eudokia is cheating on me.

Again.

Naturally, this is a big no-no and I swiftly reveal this to the whole empire. The kid, a baby girl, is born on August 27, 869. I'm immensely displeased.

Insert Final Fantasy fanfare here.



With a war lasting just over three years, the Aghlabid conquest of Sicily has ended in failure for the Sultanate. While the Empire hasn't gained any new territory, I've managed to extort well over 600 gold from Aghlabids and I'm just a bit more prestigious. This almost makes up for the fact my wife cheated on me and somebody tried to kill me. With that, the Sicilian War is finished, and so is this chapter. Tune in next time when the Empire gets a lovely case of smallpox!


Yeah. Turns out I've had smallpox for the last half a year and I haven't even noticed. Good grief.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Basileia tôn Rhōmaiōn - Prologue

BASILEIA TÔN RHŌMAIŌN

PROLOGUE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ne puero gladium."
"Don't give a child a sword."
~Latin proverb.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: If you're reading this, firstly, welcome. This is an AAR (or after action report) for the grand strategy game Crusader Kings II, as told from the perspective of the Byzantine Empire. If you're wondering where all the grand strategy is, you'll have to wait for the first part to be put up. This here is to give you some basic information on the state of the Byzantine Empire at the beginning of this campaign, as well as some background on the Basileus, or Emperor, of the Byzantines at the beginning of 867: Basil I, or Basil the Macedonian. With that said, let's recap the history that led to the downfall of Michael III and his Amorian dynasty, and the rise of Basil and his Macedonian dynasty.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emperor Michael III, Basileus of the Roman Empire

So, let's head back to 836 CE real quick. There's this guy named Basil. He's a Macedonian peasant who doesn't really have that much significant background to him (though there are reports he's a direct descendant of the Parthian and Achaemenid dynasties of Persia, which considered how much trouble their later Sassanid descendants gave Byzantium is just joyfully ironic.) This all changes when he gets a gig protecting a relative of the Emperor, Michael III, and a woman named Danielis bestows a freaking huge fortune on him. Then, to make things even better, the Emperor himself takes notice of Basil when he demonstrates his abilities as a horse tamer and wins a wrestling match against a Bulgarian champion. Michael III is so impressed that he grants Basil the title of parakoimōmenos, which bestows Basil with the role of the Emperor's companion, confidant and bodyguard. 

Skipping ahead a bit to 865 CE, Basil ends up divorcing his wife on the Emperor's orders and marrying Michael III's favorite lover, Eudokia Ingerina. Then, in a most brilliant move, Basil convinced the Emperor that his uncle, Caesar Bardas, was plotting against him, and the Emperor gave Basil permission to murder the guy. In 866 CE, Michael III named Basil caesar, and later that year, he named Basil co-emperor. That's not to say this arrangement was all sunshine and roses. Michael III really liked Eudokia, and he often gave her a pretty decent tumble, which proved... problematic because this was before effective contraceptives were really a big thing, and unfortunately lots of sex means you're going to run the risk of an accidental pregnancy. Eudokia got pregnant with Michael's kid... without Basil knowing about it. Oops. Oh, and to make matters worse, that same kid in our timeline would later get to be Emperor. Lovely.

However, the straw that really broke the camel's back was when the Emperor began favoring another courtier, a dude named Basiliskianos. Fearing he was losing the Emperor's favor and Basiliskianos would replace Basil as co-emperor (and possibly as retaliation for the whole "screwing his wife" thing) Basil organized an assassination of Michael III and Basiliskianos in September 867. Being co-emperor already, Basil became Basil I and was christened as the ruling basileus of the Empire.

That brings us right around to... January 867. Yeah, for some reason, Basil gets to be the Emperor of Byzantium in January 867. Don't ask, it's video game logic. Basil currently has control over much of eastern Anatolia, Greece, a little bit of the Balkans, the southern half of Cyprus, and a couple of Italian holdings. Right now, Basil's gotta focus on growing his economy, securing his hold over his more "at risk" provinces (read: Sicily and Italy) and try his damnedest to make sure his subjects don't rise up against him. Tune in next time when Basil tries to do just that, and hopefully he doesn't totally fail.

The Byzantine Empire, 867 CE
Special thanks to Iaredios for helping me research Basil I's rise to power.